At first glance, when I see the word “allow” I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It conjures up crazy images of nothingness, helplessness. That when I “allow” I in effect, give cart blanche permission for the Universe to do as She will. This does not sit well with me. I am a doer. A mover and a shaker (Controller) and since the moment I took my first breath, I have been fighting to find my way, fighting to find my voice, fighting to find a place to call home. If I had just “allowed” I wouldn’t have anything.
Or would I….
A closer look and I find “allow” to be an action word, describing something that I can actively participate in. I like this.
Allow: to give permission; to let have; to take into consideration.
I key on “permission” and I say to myself “If I give permission, I can also take it away.” This completely dispels the notion of “helplessness” and I am intrigued with the possibilities. I can start and stop the process of allowing when needed. I start to wrap my head around this idea… What would I like to allow into my life? Or better yet, what would it be like to simply allow….life? What would happen if I gave permission, if I allowed, love into my life? To love and be loved. What if I allowed kindness and compassion in? Trust? What if I opened my heart to all the the Universe has to give?
I don’t have all the answers. I’m still searching. At times, I still question whether or not the Universe is as kind and loving and supportive as She seems to be. And I’m okay with that. I am learning to allow myself to just be, even when “being” creates that uneasy feeling in my gut. You may ask, “What’s the benefit to all this allowing and being if it makes one uncomfortable?”
Well, one of the greatest benefits in all of this is when we do sit with the uneasy feeling, when we allow ourselves to feel it rather than run, we find that answers to what makes us feel uneasy or unsettled are provided.
And when we understand why we feel a certain way, we can then work at understanding how those emotions or “triggers” impact our lives on a daily basis. I suppose it’s the Universe that provides these answers.
And second, and perhaps more importantly, we learn to trust the kindness of the Universe. We learn that if we allow ourselves to feel, we are safe. I’ll say that again. When we allow ourselves to feel, we are safe. And we don’t have to fight for that. We just have to allow it.
Walker- Northern California